The core issue

Core Issue & Symptoms

Last week I had a coworker curse at me.  Actually, one could argue she cussed me out.  I would argue that.

After sending an informative/professional email to 4 people, she decided to reply to all and tell me whats what.  Apparently she was having a bad day.  As soon as I got her "reply to all" I picked up the phone and dialed her extension.  She proceeded to cuss me out.

I did nothing wrong.  I KNOW this.

I've struggled with this.  It has affected me at home.  I am still dwelling on it a week later.

In a meeting a this week (yesterday), my boss brought up an analogy.

He handed out a piece of paper with a flower on it.  In the center of the flower were the words "Core Issue" and the pedals were labeled "Symptoms".  He told us about a patient that had been falling in the middle of the night, and once they found out he was getting up for water and could be sure to fill his water container so he didn't have to get up, he stopped falling. (I'm paraphrasing)  He says "The core issue was his lack of water.  Once the core issue was solved the symptoms fell away"  I DISAGREE with this analogy and it took everything I had not to say something.  I am holding my tongue daily to not correct my boss.  It's SO frustrating and challenging.

The core issue may have been the need for water in the middle of the night.  The symptoms of him getting up and being upset with staff were gone after they fixed the core issue, yes, I agree.  BUT the CONSEQUENCES of the symptoms from the core issue are still there.  Consequences may be:  a broken hip/leg/shoulder from falls which now requires rehabilitation, a distrust in staff which may never be fixed, a "bad taste" for the facility as a whole, I'm sure there are more but I'll stop there, because you are smart people and get my point.

So I was told that he dealt with the "Core Issue" of the falling out between me and the coworker.  He says it's a personnel issue and he can't discuss it with me.  (WHICH I GET) Great.  Good for you.  BUT I still don't want to talk to her, much less look at her or work with her, that is a consequence of the symptom of HER core issue.

Meanwhile he is bringing her ice cream and having one on one meetings behind closed doors.

Men suck and don't understand women.